Monday, November 23, 2009

Happy Anniversary!

While the actual date of inception is lost to that dark backward and abysm of time, this month marks the tenth anniversary of Kate Anderson.  And I thought it appropriate to mark the day on the anniversary of Doctor Who's first transmission for without Doctor Who there would be no Kate.

Kate was created for a sketch called Doctor Who and the Spork of Death.  Mo Pease played Kate and I played the Doctor, naturally.  There was an ancient rivalry between alien races (the Sporks and the Foons), strange jokes, and very silly costumes.  Basically everything you'd expect from late 70s Doctor Who.  And there was Kate.  A wry woman in the midst of insanity.  I actually managed to find a copy of the script.  I know for a fact this wasn't the version performed, as there are a couple of jokes missing.  But it's pretty close.  It's also...very rough shall we say.  This is the first time I had really written anything.  It's very clear that I didn't know what I was doing.  But it got better.  At least, I hope it got better!

Doctor Who and the Spork of Death

(We hear the TARDIS land offstage.  Enter the DOCTOR and KATE)

DOCTOR:  Well, here we are, Pismo Beach and all the clams we can eat.

KATE:  Doctor, I hate to break it to you, but this isn’t Pismo Beach.

DOCTOR:  It isn’t?  (KATE shakes her head as he looks around)  Oh.  (pulls out a map)  I knew we should have taken that left turn at Albuquerque.

KATE:  It looks as though we’re in some sort of timeless void.

DOCTOR:  Don’t say such things.

KATE:  Why not?

DOCTOR:  I usually have trouble in timeless voids.  (he puts the map away)  My watch stops and someone always tries to kill me.


SPORK WIELDING MANIAC:  Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-

DOCTOR:  (consulting his watch) Right on schedule.

SPORK WIELDING MANIAC:  (con’t) aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-

DOCTOR: (finds that his watch has stopped)  Oh really.  Stupid piece of junk.

SPORK WIELDING MANIAC:  (con’t) aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-

DOCTOR:  (puts his watch away, notices that there is a SPORK WIELDING MANIAC)  Are you quite done now?

SPORK WIELDING MANIAC:  (takes a breath) aaaaaaaaaah!  (He rushes the DOCTOR and KATE.  KATE flips him over her shoulder.)

DOCTOR:  (applauding) Oh, very nicely done.

KATE:  Thank you.

DOCTOR:  Now, what about our spork wielding friend here?

KATE:  I dunno.  He looks a bit maniacal to me.

DOCTOR:  Well, anyone who wields a spork would have to be.

KATE:  Stands to reason, doesn’t it?

DOCTOR:  I suppose.  (he pulls the SPORK WIELDING MANIAC up)  Now there’s a good chap.  Tell us why you attacked us, hm?

SPORK WIELDING MANIAC:  Never!  (He stabs himself with the spork and dies)

KATE:  There’s something you don’t see every day.

DOCTOR:  What?

KATE:  Someone who attacks you with a spork and then commits suicide with it.

DOCTOR:  You haven’t traveled with me very long have you?

KATE:  No.

DOCTOR:  Well, you get used to such things after awhile, you know.  Daleks, mad scientists, spork wielding maniacs…The list goes on for miles.

KATE:  I’ll take your word for it.

DOCTOR:  Let’s go see what else is about, shall we?

(They exit.  Enter PHIPS and ZORBIDIN.)

PHIPS:  Did you see that?

ZORBIDIN:  Yes.  They materialized from nowhere in that big blue box.

PHIPS:  No, that’s run of the mill.  I meant the spork guy.

ZORBIDIN:  Oh yes.  So what?

PHIPS:  SO what, you numbskull, is that means the Sporks are gaining power again.

ZORBIDIN:  By the Great Plastic Mold in the Sky, you’re right.

PHIPS:  I always am.  Let’s go tell the Big F.


(They exit.  Reenter the DOCTOR and KATE.)

KATE:  An entire culture based on plastic cutlery?

DOCTOR:  That’s nothing.  On Earth, in California, three high school students started the First Church of the Order of Shaft.

KATE:  Shaft?  As in Richard Roundtree?

DOCTOR:  They say that cat Shaft’s one bad motha-

KATE:  Shut yo’ mouth.

DOCTOR:  Hey, I’m just talkin’ ‘bout Shaft.

KATE:  Are you done?

DOCTOR:  Erm, yeah.

KATE:  But seriously, the situation here seems very unstable.  The power struggled between the Sporks and the Foons are growing.  The Foons are in control and the Sporks want in.

DOCTOR:  Same as a thousand different planets in a thousand different times.

KATE:  But we’re here, now.  Can we leave?

DOCTOR:  Oh, but it was just getting interesting.

KATE:  But it’s dangerous.

DOCTOR:  You really haven’t been traveling with me long.

(enter PHIPS and ZORBIDIN)

PHIPS:  You will come with us.


DOCTOR:  If you don’t mind me asking, why?  (PHIPS sticks a foon under his nose)  Um, is this supposed to be threatening?

ZORBIDIN:  You mean it isn’t?

KATE:  Not really, no.

PHIPS:  That’s rather disappointing.

DOCTOR:  Yes, I can see that.  You’ve spent a lot of time and effort in an attempt to be threatening and make us come with you, and it failed.  Miserably.

PHIPS:  It’s not our fault, you see.  We’re just civil servants.  It’s not our job to threaten.  All we can do is account.  We can’t even account for ourselves.

DOCTOR:  Oh, there, there.

ZORBIDIN:  I’m Phips and he’s Zorbidin.  (PHIPS hits him on the head)  I mean, he’s Zorbidin and I’m Phips.  (PHIPS hits him again)  I mean, I’m Zorbidin and he’s Phips.

KATE:  I almost fell sorry for them.  Doctor, can we go with them?

DOCTOR:  Oh, why not?  We might even teach them to be threatening.

PHIPS:  Would you?

ZORBIDIN:  It’d be a great help.

BIG FOON:  (off) There is no need.

KATE:  And why is that?

BIG FOON:  (off) Because I am here.

(The BIG FOON enters.  He is dressed like a giant foon with a long blue cape.)

KATE:  Does anyone else find that the least bit disturbing?

PHIPS:  It grows on you.

DOCTOR:  It’d have to.

BIG FOON:  Silence!  I am the Big Foon, leader of the Foons.

KATE:  Oh, that’s inventive.

BIG FOON:  Who might you be?

DOCTOR:  We might be any number of things.

KATE:  A giant foon, for example.

DOCTOR:  As it happens, I’m the Doctor and this is my friend Kate, I believe you know Phips and Zorbidin and you said your name was the Big Foon if I recall correctly and I always do.  Except when I don’t.

KATE:  Charmed, I’m sure.

BIG FOON:  What brings you to my timeless void?

(Enter LAWYER)

LAWYER:  Excuse me a moment, sir.  (He and the BIG FOON confer in whispers and large gestures for a moment.  Exit LAWYER.)

BIG FOON:  I’ve just been informed by my lawyer that if I say another cliché, I’ll get sued.

DOCTOR:  We came here quire by accident.  Our ship doesn’t have the best navigation systems.

KATE:  That’s the understatement of the year.


BIG FOON:  You are spies of the Sporks!

DOCTOR:  You leapt to that conclusion rather quickly, didn’t you?

BIG FOON:  It was a command decision.


KATE:  Well, I assume you’re going to shoot us now?



PHIPS:  We’re going to foon you!

KATE:  That sounds a bit rude.

DOCTOR:  Not as rude as sporking.

KATE:  That’s true.

BIG FOON:  Silence!  Zorbidin, Phips, get them!

DOCTOR:  Erm. One moment please.  Just one question and you can go back to fooning us.
BIG FOON:  Sigh, what is it?

DOCTOR:  Why do you keep saying ‘Silence!’?

BIG FOON:  I’ve never really thought about it much before.  I suppose it came from my father, the Medium Foon.

ZORBIDIN:  Oh yeah, I remember him.  Great leader he was.

BIG FOON:  But who’s the greatest leader ever?

ZORBIDIN:  You are, sir.  Without a doubt.

BIG FOON:  And don’t you forget it!

KATE:  The Medium Foon?

BIG FOON: Yes.  I am the Big Foon, my father was the Medium Foon, his father was the Small Foon…

DOCTOR:  On second thought, I don’t want to know why you keep saying ‘Silence!’.  If it’s going to be as boring as this, you might as well foon us.  It’d be more humane.

KATE:  Foone.


KATE:  Foone.  Like humane.  You just add the silent ‘e’.


PHIPS:  May we continue now?

(The DOCTOR nods.  They advance on the DOCTOR and KATE.)

DOCTOR:  Now, let’s not be too hasty guys.

KATE:  Yeah, we were going to help you.

PHIPS:  But he’s the Big Foon.  Whatever he says goes.

ZORBIDIN:  If we don’t follow his orders, we’ll get fooned.

(Enter three more SPORK WIELDING MANIACS.)

DOCTOR:  Look, behind you, three spork wielding maniacs!

ZORBIDIN:  D’you think we’re going to fall for that old one?  (A SPORK WIELDING MANIAC stabs ZORBIDIN in the back.)  Arrrrg!

PHIPS:  Doctor, what are we going to do?

DOCTOR:  What a lovely change of heart.


BIG FOON:  I am slain.  {Enter LAWYER.  He whispers something in the BIG FOON’S ear and runs off.)  Oh bugger, I can’t afford that.

KATE:  Doctor, think of something!

DOCTOR:  Yes, yes, yes.  Ah, I know.  (He pulls a small cylindrical object from his pocket.)

PHIPS:  What’s that?

DOCTOR:  What?

PHIPS:  I said, what’s that.

DOCTOR:  Sonic screwdriver.  (He holds it aloft and aims it at the SPORK WIELDING MANIACS.  They yelp, drop their sporks, and run off.)

PHIPS:  I don’t understand.

KATE:  That’s hardly surprising.

DOCTOR:  Oh, quite simple, really.  The sonic screwdriver excited the atoms in the sporks, causing them to go faster, which had the side effects of heating the plastic.

PHIPS:  And they dropped them accordingly.

DOCTOR:  Precisely.

PHIPS:  There’s just one problem.

KATE:  What’s that?

PHIPS:  The Big Foon died.  There’s no one to take his place.

DOCTOR:  Well, I can think of no one more suited to the job than you.

PHIPS:  But I have no political experience.

KATE:  Which is why you’d make a great leader.

DOCTOR:  People who want to rule should by no means be the ones with power.

PHIPS:  And what of you , Doctor?  Will you help me get rid of the Sporks?

DOCTOR:  No!  Absolutely not!  That’s not the way I do things.  Anymore.  Some of my previously selves, on the other hand, would be happy to help.  Try the small Scottish one with the question mark fetish.

KATE:  Besides, have you ever looked closely at a spork and a foon?

PHIPS:  No, not really.

KATE:  They’re identical.  Just different names for the same thing.

PHIPS:  Never though of it like that before.

KATE:  Thought not.

DOCTOR:  We really should be going.

PHIPS:  Yes, of course.  Goodbye, Doctor.  Goodbye, Kate.  (he exits)

KATE:  That was so real, it was surreal.

DOCTOR: Quite.

KATE:  Can we go now?

DOCTOR:  Every time we get someplace, you always want to leave.

KATE:  That’s because weird things like this keep happening.

DOCTOR:  This?  This is nothing.  Have I ever told you about the time a group of intelligent carrots demanding unlimited rice pudding abducted my companion and nearly blew up the Fifth Galaxy?

KATE:  No.

DOCTOR:  (as they exit) Well, I was in my sixth incarnation at the time and my companion Mel was trying to get me to lose some weight…

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

The Kate Anderson Nobody Knows - pg 4

Last page! Yes, Tommy Chong is a student in Kate's class.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

The Kate Anderson Nobody Knows - pg 3

The next page. I like the jock in the last two panels of this comic; it's like he's disciplining a misbehaving cat.

I love drawing space-Kate!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

The Kate Anderson Nobody Knows - pg 2

Page two of the story that I wrote and Steven approved of. This was so fun to draw!

Monday, November 9, 2009

Kate Anderson Adventures #2 Now Available!

That's right, after months of waiting, it's finally here! Issue #2 features three stories: Kate Anderson in Lay Dee Odl Lay Dee Odl Lay Dee Doom, The Green Raven in Big Ralph's Big Score, and The Kate Anderson Nobody Knows. Plus an exclusive prose story found only in this issue, Thieves of Mercy!  All this for only $5!

But that's not all...

We've gone back to print on Issue #1 and printed it in a new, smaller edition to match #2. And, we've fixed all those annoying little typos that we knew you noticed!

I know what you're thinking, 'How do I obtain these slices of fried gold from Steven and Kathy?' Well, friend, wander and wonder no more. You can order right here!  Every comic comes signed by Kathy Harnack and Steven Sautter and can be personally inscribed upon request.





Tuesday, November 3, 2009

fever-induced genderbending

This came to me while I was sick and I thought it was groundbreaking. A week later I thought it was only ok. :\

Allow me to introduce Nate Anderson and Tiffany Eccles, the result of flipping the genders of Kate Anderson and Timothy Eccles. Enjoy!

The Kate Anderson Nobody Knows - pg 1

Here's page 1 of a story that Steven allowed me to write. He approved of the pitch and the script, and I felt very honored to be granted the permission to play with the inhabitants of his universe for a bit.

The title is an homage to the classic Batman story that this Kate adventure is based on.