Well, it's International Talk Like a Pirate Day. While I refuse to be told to talk like a pirate, I will drink like one. While I try and drink my body mass worth of rum, enjoy some dialogue and a song I wrote for three nerd pirates in Mothman and Chrysalis.
PIRATE 1: Yaaar!
PIRATE 2: Wooorf!
PIRATE 3: Suluuu!
PIRATE 1: What be you doing?
PIRATE 2: I thought we were namin’ security chiefs o’ th’ Enterprise.
PIRATE 1: Sulu wasn’t security chief o’ th’ Enterprise.
PIRATE 3: In ‘Mirror, Mirror’ he was.
PIRATE 2: Aye, but that was in a parallel universe.
PIRATE 3: How about Chekov? Chekov was th’ security chief in th’ first six Star Trek movies.
PIRATE 1: Not in Star Trek 2 though.
PIRATE 3: Not in Star Trek 2, yeah. But th’ rest…
A PIRATE RAP
(Sung by three pirates in four part harmony)
It’s hard to be a pirate in this day and age
But da’ nine t’ five grind feels like we trapped in a cage
So we quit our jobs at th’ local Target
And bought these new clothes from a costume set
We were pirates
We were mean
We were vicious and cruel
But da’ biggest body of water we could find was a pool
Forsakin’ the high seas, we turned to crime
Drinkin’ Coronas with tiny slices o’ lime
We spend our days lookin’ for booty
And once we find our treasure, we’ll look for some cuties
All th’ pirates in th’ house go, “Rrrr.”
So here we end our tale o’ woe and tragedy
How we ditched our jobs and turned t’ piracy
But enough o’ this rap, ‘tis getting hard to rhyme
We’re gonna stop it now because it’s time…to steal